On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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