Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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