I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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