she looked like the before picture.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
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So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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