I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Randomize
