hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
