i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize