Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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