you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
