I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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