I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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