I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
