dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Sorry my hands just texted you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
