I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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