I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She announced her abortion via fbk
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
