the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
