Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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