yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
