you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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