what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize