Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize