I wannas sexs uuuuu
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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