...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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