Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
