so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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