how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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