At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize