Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize