apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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