There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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