I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize