JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
