You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
