Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize