my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
