You work out of a Hotel?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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