brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
