I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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