Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
