Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so let's talk penis.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
