i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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