Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
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1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
ok first of all what the fuck
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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