Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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