I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
