So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How does one acquire holy water?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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