my room smells like sperm. sweet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
