My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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