dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
