Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize