Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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