My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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