I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
