Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We had to coat check the pizza.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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