you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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