so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
