Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
