By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
