dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
