How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize