I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
