i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am naked and annoyed.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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