You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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