ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
