Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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