Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
