We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
