The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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