..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
