it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
